I have decided to start a new feature of my blog; App reviews. I'm talking about Apple company apps that can be downloaded onto their iPod touches and iPads. I will review several apps every 2 weeks or so, 3 at the most. To kick it off, there is an app I have been playing recently, and while it is fun, there are some serious flaws that annoy me to no end.
The App:
Brothers in Arms 2 Free +
Developer: Gameloft
What is it? The premise of the app is you're a soldier in World War 2. The main protagonist is a man named David Wilson, whom you play as in the game, and essentially you play in campaigns covering the Solomon islands, North Africa, Sicily, Eurpean, and South Pacific theaters of WW2. The backbone of the game is a government conspiracy; I don't know how it turns out as I have not finished the game yet.
Pleasantries; the game has an "interesting" plot, game play is fine, it's fun, but can be annoying, and you can chose from some pretty sweet guns.
Annoyances; you have to purchase all your guns, all your amo, and they claim they're better than games that give you an energy level. (that limits how much/long you can play) They're right. If you die in a level, then you have a "Mission Cooldown" that can last anywhere from a minute, to 2 hours. Their advertising is correct, but the gameplay is still limited. There is a way to circumvent the waiting period; you can pay "Medals" to eliminate the cooldown, but the catch is that you either have to buy the medals, or as you rank up, you might get one medal for ranking up. There are also serious holes in how they've programmed the game; most notably, if you attempt to shoot a character who's running up from it's spawn point to attack you, it will not die until it reaches the spot it is supposed to go to in the level. Even if you empty an entire clip into them. Another thing about aiming; if your hiding behind an object like a rock, and you peek around about an inch and you see an enemy, and you attempt to shoot him, he will not die. Peek out about another two inches and if you shoot him then, THEN he will die. I've also play through this app before, reaching roughly the halfway point, and then it deleted all my progress, and I had to delete the app itself because it had become corrupted. I re downloaded it, and have made up all my progress. And as a final note, if you step even an inch outside of the mission parameters, (i.e. going where the game doesn't want you to go) the game will kill you. Oh, and German officers carry Thompson machine guns, 1 of every 4 german soldiers carries a panzerfaust, and Sherman tanks can take 10 panzer rounds with out disintegrating. (for those that don't know, in WW2, Sherman tanks sucked. 1 panzer round could blow a 6 foot hole in a Sherman.) [The only reason we won was that for every Panzer there were 4 Shermans]
Prognosis; Don't waste the space on your iPod or iPad with this app. Its annoying, the game play mechanics are horrid, the plot is centered around a government/military conspiracy of some kind (way to be original). This app is free, and it deserves to stay that way. It's fun, but it's irritating. The only reason I keep playing is so I can beat it. Only reason. If you over look the holes in the game, it's actually quite fun.
The App: 6th Planet
Developer: Monkube
What is it? Something is happening in space. You play as a chimp who lands a small space craft, making it through dozens of levels, interspersed with comic cut scenes. The planet Saturn has transformed into a "Second Earth" of sorts. (i.e. Becoming habitable)
Pleasantries: The game play mechanics are simple and fun; you use two buttons to send your tiny ship right, left, or up. The comic cut scenes are interesting, well written, and keep you wondering.
Annoyances: sadly the comics use themes of environmentalism (that humanity has/will kill(ed) the earth), that soldiers and such are all violent warmongerers, and not the best view on religion.
Prognosis: Excellent app, I highly reccomend this app, the music in it is excellent, the game play is good. Sadly the political elements are irritating, but besides that, I recommend it. The app is free, so go ahead, download it.
There will be more reviews to follow.
Happy beginning of advent.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
{Insert witty title pertaining to Thanksgiving}
As Thanksgiving looms ahead, I find myself with 2 things; 1) since I'm on break, too much free time, and 2) ignoring my homework.
I'm also thankful for stuff, but I'm not sure why. Maybe it has something to do with "Thanksgiving" being the name of the holiday. I'm not sure though. But anyway, I'm thankful for a lot of things. From people to experiences, no matter how bad or strenuous they were, in thankful they happened to me. There's deffinately one person I'm thankful I met, and I doubt they'll see this, but that doesnt really matter. What I'm trying to convey is that you should be thankful for the good and the bad. Both of them make you who you are, and you should be thankful that you haven't turned out so bad. Being someone who runs a fairly new blog, I've had under 300 views in the 3 months I've been speaking to the Internet. I find that an accomplishment considering I'm one of thousands who operate a blog, and I would like to thank my followers at this point, and all those who have looked at my blog, who should become followers, for taking the time to read my musings.
Not only am I competing for your attention with other blogs, but I'm also fighting every other website on the internet for your interest, whether it be YouTube, Facebook, Twitter or Skype, I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep your soul staring at this screen. And that's what I'm thankful for, is that there are people who pity me enough to bother reading this.
Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving, and happy Black Friday.
[Yay consumerism!]
I'm also thankful for stuff, but I'm not sure why. Maybe it has something to do with "Thanksgiving" being the name of the holiday. I'm not sure though. But anyway, I'm thankful for a lot of things. From people to experiences, no matter how bad or strenuous they were, in thankful they happened to me. There's deffinately one person I'm thankful I met, and I doubt they'll see this, but that doesnt really matter. What I'm trying to convey is that you should be thankful for the good and the bad. Both of them make you who you are, and you should be thankful that you haven't turned out so bad. Being someone who runs a fairly new blog, I've had under 300 views in the 3 months I've been speaking to the Internet. I find that an accomplishment considering I'm one of thousands who operate a blog, and I would like to thank my followers at this point, and all those who have looked at my blog, who should become followers, for taking the time to read my musings.
Not only am I competing for your attention with other blogs, but I'm also fighting every other website on the internet for your interest, whether it be YouTube, Facebook, Twitter or Skype, I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep your soul staring at this screen. And that's what I'm thankful for, is that there are people who pity me enough to bother reading this.
Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving, and happy Black Friday.
[Yay consumerism!]
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Go rescue a box of kittens. NOW.
Ah, the day after Halloween. The day of candy hangovers, real hangovers (for older people of course) and cleaning the wrappers out of the nooks and crannies of wherever you consumed 4 lbs. of your candy in under two minutes. You may wonder why we as Americans celebrate this holiday, or why it's celebrated the way it is? I mean really, what kind of fool creates a holiday where you run around in a costume and ask strangers for candy in the dark and cold of the night before the first day of November?
The Celts. Specifically the Irish. Halloween was originally considered to be the only night of the year where evil spirits could prowl about the world. So to protect themselves, the Irish would wear masks. You're probably trying to figure out how stumbling around in the dark asking for camdy fits into hiding from ghosts. Well, it was also a harvest festival of sorts; you would walk around your village and ask each neighbor for a small treat. If they gave you something, that meant they were prepared for the coming winter. If they didn't, that meant they weren't, and if that was the case, food would be given to the person in one of two ways; either children would deposit the food on the house's doorstep, knock on the door and run away. Or the kids would throw it through your window. In any event, the hope was that the neighbor would survive the winter.
Now, the name is an entirely different matter. "All Hallow's Eve" was an English Catholic tradition in which the members of a village would process to the church, stay there the whole night and recite the names of the departed. Hence "Hallow's" (grave) and "Eve" (night) The belief that evil spirits rode about on that night carried over, but not only because the devil wanted to scare people away from the church, cause let's face it. If it's Irish, the English want it.
Now that you know why Halloween is the way that it is, I'm going to tell you 5 things that annoy me that people do on (or near) Halloween.
1. Handing out things other than candy
Ok, it's Halloween, and kids expect candy. I have no idea what you're thinking giving 3-18 year olds who are on suger highs, fruit, popcorn, pencils, and (not kidding) toothbrushes. (Do you want quilted, or non when I come back later?) Save the political statements for your next protest. This is about the kids, not your desire to push your healthy propaganda. The kids aren't gonna eat the apples or use the toothbrushes. If anything, they'll throw them at your house. Hippies.
2. People who go out on "Devil's night"
Ok, so for those of you who don't know, Oct. 30th is called "Devil's night", because this would be the night when bands of kids run around and play pranks on people. Personally, I find this to be one of the most base practices in existence. Tee peeing innocent people's houses is wrong. Setting vacant homes on fire is a felony. At least wait until Halloween to egg the toothbrush house. Then I might not want to hit you with my car to keep you from breeding. Just stay home and cyber bully some random person's blog and compensate for your lack of masculinity that way. Seriously. Prove to me that you're actually worthy of being called a man.
3. Hipsters
No list that's listing things you dislike can be complete without hipsters.
4. People who take half the candy from the "just take one piece" bowls
Ok, this person is being kind enough to offer you candy, even though they're not even home. This person is personally trusting you, someone they'll probably never see, hear, or even know of their existence again. And you break that trust. Plus, you're shortchanging every person after you, they want candy just as much as you do, but they take one piece. Go rescue a box of kittens from a burning building and redeem yourself. Go. Now.
5. Having a dentist appointment the day after Halloween
I don't really care much about this, but this happens to me every single year. I just wait till I get home from the dentist to eat all my candy. (which will be in about an hour I hope)
That completes my list of things I hate about what people to on or near Halloween. This is meant to be funny, and if you're offended,
that's a "you problem".
Thanks for reading, and please leave comments. Happy All Saints day!
The Celts. Specifically the Irish. Halloween was originally considered to be the only night of the year where evil spirits could prowl about the world. So to protect themselves, the Irish would wear masks. You're probably trying to figure out how stumbling around in the dark asking for camdy fits into hiding from ghosts. Well, it was also a harvest festival of sorts; you would walk around your village and ask each neighbor for a small treat. If they gave you something, that meant they were prepared for the coming winter. If they didn't, that meant they weren't, and if that was the case, food would be given to the person in one of two ways; either children would deposit the food on the house's doorstep, knock on the door and run away. Or the kids would throw it through your window. In any event, the hope was that the neighbor would survive the winter.
Now, the name is an entirely different matter. "All Hallow's Eve" was an English Catholic tradition in which the members of a village would process to the church, stay there the whole night and recite the names of the departed. Hence "Hallow's" (grave) and "Eve" (night) The belief that evil spirits rode about on that night carried over, but not only because the devil wanted to scare people away from the church, cause let's face it. If it's Irish, the English want it.
Now that you know why Halloween is the way that it is, I'm going to tell you 5 things that annoy me that people do on (or near) Halloween.
1. Handing out things other than candy
Ok, it's Halloween, and kids expect candy. I have no idea what you're thinking giving 3-18 year olds who are on suger highs, fruit, popcorn, pencils, and (not kidding) toothbrushes. (Do you want quilted, or non when I come back later?) Save the political statements for your next protest. This is about the kids, not your desire to push your healthy propaganda. The kids aren't gonna eat the apples or use the toothbrushes. If anything, they'll throw them at your house. Hippies.
2. People who go out on "Devil's night"
Ok, so for those of you who don't know, Oct. 30th is called "Devil's night", because this would be the night when bands of kids run around and play pranks on people. Personally, I find this to be one of the most base practices in existence. Tee peeing innocent people's houses is wrong. Setting vacant homes on fire is a felony. At least wait until Halloween to egg the toothbrush house. Then I might not want to hit you with my car to keep you from breeding. Just stay home and cyber bully some random person's blog and compensate for your lack of masculinity that way. Seriously. Prove to me that you're actually worthy of being called a man.
3. Hipsters
No list that's listing things you dislike can be complete without hipsters.
4. People who take half the candy from the "just take one piece" bowls
Ok, this person is being kind enough to offer you candy, even though they're not even home. This person is personally trusting you, someone they'll probably never see, hear, or even know of their existence again. And you break that trust. Plus, you're shortchanging every person after you, they want candy just as much as you do, but they take one piece. Go rescue a box of kittens from a burning building and redeem yourself. Go. Now.
5. Having a dentist appointment the day after Halloween
I don't really care much about this, but this happens to me every single year. I just wait till I get home from the dentist to eat all my candy. (which will be in about an hour I hope)
That completes my list of things I hate about what people to on or near Halloween. This is meant to be funny, and if you're offended,
that's a "you problem".
Thanks for reading, and please leave comments. Happy All Saints day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)