Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thank you all!
As I sit here doing homework, I wish to thank all those who have followed my blog, I also wish to thank the person in Brazil who viewed my blog, for I can now say I have my first international reader! I am currently having technical difficulties so I will not be able to show you my collection of demotivational posters i had selected, so vote in my new poll instead. Thank you readers, and have a happy Halloween.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Stay close mon ami!
Ah, Halloween, the magical time of year when it's considered culturally acceptable to scare small children. It's also about costumes and candy, but that's to lure the small children in so you can scare them.
Back to the costumes; most kids will dress up as a superhero at one point in their lives, typically Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Ironman, or Wolverine. Even though most of those heroes are pretty cool, they've been overused. So instead, I'm going to create a costume guide for one of my favorite X-Men, Gambit. For me as a little kid, it didn't get more awesome than watching a guy throw exploding playing cards. I mean, just think of how much fun playing poker would be!
Anyway, the costume is easy; get a skintight, shiny black leotard, a trenchcoat, and a staff that retracts. Oh, and be adept at throwing playing cards. Which I will teach you how to do. (see picture at bottom for a visual)
1. Pick up card.
2. Hold card so the longest side is parallel to your arm.
3. Place middle finger under card, in the center.
4. Thumb over where middle finger would be located.
5. Place index finger on farthest corner.
6. Snap your wrist to launch it.
If you find the card thudding into the ground, or going the opposite direction, that means you're using your arm. That's not how to do it.
This will give you accuracy and power, if done correctly. Now to make them explode.
I would say coating the cards you intend to throw in an explosive compound would work, or split a card in two, and put some on the inside and glue it back together; so I recommend using a primary explosive, as this type usually requires impact or friction of some sort to detonate. (i.e. When the card hits the target) I recommend nitroglycerin, as it is legal and commercially available. It is quite dangerous, so if you saw that Zorro two movie like I did, (may your therapy heal you) take what the nitroglycerin did in that, subtract Hollywood, add the real world and you have a pretty powerful explosive.
For more info on nitroglycerin, see the Wikipedia page:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitroglycerin
Nitroglycerin is not the most stable of materials, so you probably shouldn't shuffle the cards you've coated in it all that much, and you should probably not practice throwing the treated cards, stick with the non-treated, as they're less likely to, you know, blow a hole in your wall. Now, Gambit didn't use cards exclusively, as in several instances, he charged locks with kinetic energy, which promptly blew up, once spat a wad of gum that had been charged, he even charged his staff on numerous occasions to send the hapless recipients of the staff through walls. While chewing on Nitroglycerin gum is likely to kill you (as it would blow your head off the second you started chewing) it's not recommended to try making explosive gum. (you could always try the Misson Impossible I gum bomb though) Since the other applications probably won't work, I recommend just using cards, mainly because the only people likely to know that Gambit can do more than make poker games exciting, are people like me who have no life, and because having nitroglycerin gum is unsafe.
I probably have my own Homeland security officer monitoring my blog by now, so if you do try this, you assume all liabilities. Ok Mr. Government agent, I'm telling them not to do this. Just go to sleep, the next post will only be about how to set up your own nuclear reactor, PERFECTLY normal, law abiding citizen activity.
Anyway, happy Halloween readers, stay safe, have fun, and don't forget to follow my blog and leave comments.
Back to the costumes; most kids will dress up as a superhero at one point in their lives, typically Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Ironman, or Wolverine. Even though most of those heroes are pretty cool, they've been overused. So instead, I'm going to create a costume guide for one of my favorite X-Men, Gambit. For me as a little kid, it didn't get more awesome than watching a guy throw exploding playing cards. I mean, just think of how much fun playing poker would be!
Anyway, the costume is easy; get a skintight, shiny black leotard, a trenchcoat, and a staff that retracts. Oh, and be adept at throwing playing cards. Which I will teach you how to do. (see picture at bottom for a visual)
1. Pick up card.
2. Hold card so the longest side is parallel to your arm.
3. Place middle finger under card, in the center.
4. Thumb over where middle finger would be located.
5. Place index finger on farthest corner.
6. Snap your wrist to launch it.
If you find the card thudding into the ground, or going the opposite direction, that means you're using your arm. That's not how to do it.
This will give you accuracy and power, if done correctly. Now to make them explode.
I would say coating the cards you intend to throw in an explosive compound would work, or split a card in two, and put some on the inside and glue it back together; so I recommend using a primary explosive, as this type usually requires impact or friction of some sort to detonate. (i.e. When the card hits the target) I recommend nitroglycerin, as it is legal and commercially available. It is quite dangerous, so if you saw that Zorro two movie like I did, (may your therapy heal you) take what the nitroglycerin did in that, subtract Hollywood, add the real world and you have a pretty powerful explosive.
For more info on nitroglycerin, see the Wikipedia page:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitroglycerin
Nitroglycerin is not the most stable of materials, so you probably shouldn't shuffle the cards you've coated in it all that much, and you should probably not practice throwing the treated cards, stick with the non-treated, as they're less likely to, you know, blow a hole in your wall. Now, Gambit didn't use cards exclusively, as in several instances, he charged locks with kinetic energy, which promptly blew up, once spat a wad of gum that had been charged, he even charged his staff on numerous occasions to send the hapless recipients of the staff through walls. While chewing on Nitroglycerin gum is likely to kill you (as it would blow your head off the second you started chewing) it's not recommended to try making explosive gum. (you could always try the Misson Impossible I gum bomb though) Since the other applications probably won't work, I recommend just using cards, mainly because the only people likely to know that Gambit can do more than make poker games exciting, are people like me who have no life, and because having nitroglycerin gum is unsafe.
I probably have my own Homeland security officer monitoring my blog by now, so if you do try this, you assume all liabilities. Ok Mr. Government agent, I'm telling them not to do this. Just go to sleep, the next post will only be about how to set up your own nuclear reactor, PERFECTLY normal, law abiding citizen activity.
Anyway, happy Halloween readers, stay safe, have fun, and don't forget to follow my blog and leave comments.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Please excuse the lack of italics.
I'm writing this in honor of my favorite movie if all time, The Dark Knight. The top grossing superhero film of the all time, one of the top 10 grossing films of all time, grossing over 1 billion dollars worldwide, was nominated for dozens of awards, set a new standard for superhero movies, and film making in general.
It is also considered the greatest performance of the Late Heath Ledger as The Joker. He perfectly embodied what The Joker is; insane, calculating, unpredictable, the personification of chaos itself. He is the reason children will fear clowns for the next 30 years. I watched the Dark Knight again recently, and I saw the wonderful work of art in a whole new light. I took a film class over the summer, and I haven't seen a movie the same way since, or TV for that matter. The deep complexity of the characters, the subplots, twists, all came alive again for me.
The director of The Dark Knight, (Christopher Nolan) has been working on a new project recently, a sequel to one of his previous movies. The Dark Knight Rises is the sequel to The Dark Knight, and will features Bane (Tom Hardy), Catwoman (Anne Hathaway), and rumors have circulated that the daughter of Ras Al Gul (played by Liam Neeson in Batman Begins), Thalia, may have a part as well, but it has not been stated as to whether she will help or hinder Batman. Based on The Dark Knight's success, The only way The Dark Knight Rises can go is up. Sadly, it is to be the last Batman movie, so it has to be good.
It is also considered the greatest performance of the Late Heath Ledger as The Joker. He perfectly embodied what The Joker is; insane, calculating, unpredictable, the personification of chaos itself. He is the reason children will fear clowns for the next 30 years. I watched the Dark Knight again recently, and I saw the wonderful work of art in a whole new light. I took a film class over the summer, and I haven't seen a movie the same way since, or TV for that matter. The deep complexity of the characters, the subplots, twists, all came alive again for me.
The director of The Dark Knight, (Christopher Nolan) has been working on a new project recently, a sequel to one of his previous movies. The Dark Knight Rises is the sequel to The Dark Knight, and will features Bane (Tom Hardy), Catwoman (Anne Hathaway), and rumors have circulated that the daughter of Ras Al Gul (played by Liam Neeson in Batman Begins), Thalia, may have a part as well, but it has not been stated as to whether she will help or hinder Batman. Based on The Dark Knight's success, The only way The Dark Knight Rises can go is up. Sadly, it is to be the last Batman movie, so it has to be good.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Ponies. Wait, what?! Ponies.
My Little Ponies Friendship is Magic. Manliest title for a show ever. Recently, this has become the new rendition of the "My Little Ponies" franchise, and honestly, it's funny. Not many things can make me truly laugh, and I watched one episode of this show, and it was so subtly funny that I had to watch it again. This show was recommended to me by a friend who said it was hilarious, and to put things in perspective, he's even more cynical, condescending and negative than me. If that show can make him laugh, then it has to be one of the funniest shows of the decade. I was surprised that the show was funny, and also surprised I had anydignity left, but then again, I sold that for two bucks a long time ago. But that's a different story for a different day. I recommend this show to anyone, and it's on a channel called "Hub", and if you have Dish network like me, it's channel 179. Enjoy. Don't forget to comment and leave suggestions for future posts. (May as well hear from the handful of people who actually read what I write.) Oh, and this proves how manly this show is. 
What a Jobs.
This past week, Steve Jobs passed away. This news astonished everyone. He was one of the pioneers of the 21st century. He created quality, easy to use computers and later on, revolutionized mp3 players. He created iTunes as a way to increase revenue and bump up the sales of his iPods.
He revolutionized and improved old technologies and industries, made touchscreen and tablet devices popular, and stands as a rolemodel for people all over the globe; his mother became pregnant with him in college, but chose to put him up for adoption instead. He went from an orphan to one of the most influential and powerful people of the past two decades.
Just think what would've happened had his mother not given him up for adoption. As I sit here on my iPod, typing this blogpost in honor of Steve Jobs, I know his legacy wil reach well into the future, that I will be able to tell my grandkids that I lived when Apple was changing history. While everyone is making a tribute to Steve Jobs, thus making it mainstream, (please, don't call me a hipster, because that has become mainstream in and of itself) I am doing this because I use Apple products, and I thank this man for creating them. Enjoy the comic.
He revolutionized and improved old technologies and industries, made touchscreen and tablet devices popular, and stands as a rolemodel for people all over the globe; his mother became pregnant with him in college, but chose to put him up for adoption instead. He went from an orphan to one of the most influential and powerful people of the past two decades.
Just think what would've happened had his mother not given him up for adoption. As I sit here on my iPod, typing this blogpost in honor of Steve Jobs, I know his legacy wil reach well into the future, that I will be able to tell my grandkids that I lived when Apple was changing history. While everyone is making a tribute to Steve Jobs, thus making it mainstream, (please, don't call me a hipster, because that has become mainstream in and of itself) I am doing this because I use Apple products, and I thank this man for creating them. Enjoy the comic.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Buy this, buy that!
We all see infomercials, commercials, ads, billboards, pop-ups on our computers, no matter where we are, we see something telling us that we need it. Marketing is a complex mix of psychology, politics, current trends, time of year, and the demographic you wish to reach.
Example: when advertising things such as nerf guns, you picture children playing with them, but as of late, that former population of children are now teens, so in all the ads, all the models are teen boys. Its a subtle way to identify with a demographic that's grown up, and it also draws in little kids who see that and think "big kids like that, therefore it must be cool!" But if you want to sell a product similar to nerf guns, you have to use teens who look as though they've really been fighting, thus making it realistic and pulling in the people who want to have that "awesome" feeling of actually fighting.
When selling makeup or other such products (shampoo, deodorant, and other hygiene items) you use an attractive actor, if it's a man, typically tall, well cut, dark haired, and with a brown haired, beautiful woman who is about as tall as his neck. This is a subliminal message to our subconscious that by using this product a beautiful person will find you immediately attractive. With women's products, it's typically a blond woman, and a dark haired man (again), who is taller than the woman, but only up to his chin. He also appears to be utterly transfixed by the woman using the product. Another subliminal message that this product will make you totally individualized and noticeable to other people, thus tricking the people who fall for these marketing gimmicks to buy the product.
Vacations. Who doesn't love them? Don't the ads they show make you just wanna pack up your bags and go?
Good. That means it worked. Vacations are different from makeup. They don't want you to think you're extraordinary for using the product. They want you to think ordinary people go on extraordinay trips, so they use people, who are maybe semi attractive (real people) to say "hey, this can be you!" and coupled with cheap rates, they're right. You go the vacation, and they make more ads.
What they don't tell you, is that the real point of marketing is to tell you you're stupid, and still trick you into buying their product. They do this by advertising something unnecessary that they tell you that you need or you'll be stuck dealing with horribly undesirable bruised banana's (NOOOOOO!)
See the banana case, which you obviously need.
Example: when advertising things such as nerf guns, you picture children playing with them, but as of late, that former population of children are now teens, so in all the ads, all the models are teen boys. Its a subtle way to identify with a demographic that's grown up, and it also draws in little kids who see that and think "big kids like that, therefore it must be cool!" But if you want to sell a product similar to nerf guns, you have to use teens who look as though they've really been fighting, thus making it realistic and pulling in the people who want to have that "awesome" feeling of actually fighting.
When selling makeup or other such products (shampoo, deodorant, and other hygiene items) you use an attractive actor, if it's a man, typically tall, well cut, dark haired, and with a brown haired, beautiful woman who is about as tall as his neck. This is a subliminal message to our subconscious that by using this product a beautiful person will find you immediately attractive. With women's products, it's typically a blond woman, and a dark haired man (again), who is taller than the woman, but only up to his chin. He also appears to be utterly transfixed by the woman using the product. Another subliminal message that this product will make you totally individualized and noticeable to other people, thus tricking the people who fall for these marketing gimmicks to buy the product.
Vacations. Who doesn't love them? Don't the ads they show make you just wanna pack up your bags and go?
Good. That means it worked. Vacations are different from makeup. They don't want you to think you're extraordinary for using the product. They want you to think ordinary people go on extraordinay trips, so they use people, who are maybe semi attractive (real people) to say "hey, this can be you!" and coupled with cheap rates, they're right. You go the vacation, and they make more ads.
What they don't tell you, is that the real point of marketing is to tell you you're stupid, and still trick you into buying their product. They do this by advertising something unnecessary that they tell you that you need or you'll be stuck dealing with horribly undesirable bruised banana's (NOOOOOO!)
See the banana case, which you obviously need.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
All the time in the world
As I sit here doing homework, my mind drifts to one thing I never forget, the one thing that helps me whenever I feel lost....
Star Trek
Yes, I'm a nerd, but what's the blog called? You should've expected it. Anyway, as much as I love Star Trek, the one thing they never seem to get right is temporal mechanics or how the time stream works. Example: Commander Sisko (Deep Space 9, Past Tense Pt 1) ends up in the past with 2 other crewmembers, while the rest are stranded in the present. While in the past an important historical figure dies, thus changing the future, and the crewmembers in the present are the ones who see the change and are unaffected by it.
Statement: if the figure died in the past, then the future would have already corrected itself, thus insuring that they would never have existed or happened, unless they fixed what had happened. (which is what happens and the present is saved) in other words, if the issue is corrected, then the future is unaffected, but the future is never saved until the Character fixes it, then the future is corrected and everything is ice cream and candy.
This is a recurring theme in dozens of episodes, and while it does make the episode more exciting, it bothers people like me. (and by people, I mean me) If something happens over the course of a year in the past, the future changes instantly. Time literally happens in a second; for example, if I post this, all of you will prolly have chuckled by now and thought, "nerd" but if I don't, you'll never call me a nerd this one time, and your grandchildren won't go to Harvard. What we do affects the future in infinite ways, even not doing anything affects it.
Don't forget to comment if you want to get your grandchildren into Harvard.
Star Trek
Yes, I'm a nerd, but what's the blog called? You should've expected it. Anyway, as much as I love Star Trek, the one thing they never seem to get right is temporal mechanics or how the time stream works. Example: Commander Sisko (Deep Space 9, Past Tense Pt 1) ends up in the past with 2 other crewmembers, while the rest are stranded in the present. While in the past an important historical figure dies, thus changing the future, and the crewmembers in the present are the ones who see the change and are unaffected by it.
Statement: if the figure died in the past, then the future would have already corrected itself, thus insuring that they would never have existed or happened, unless they fixed what had happened. (which is what happens and the present is saved) in other words, if the issue is corrected, then the future is unaffected, but the future is never saved until the Character fixes it, then the future is corrected and everything is ice cream and candy.
This is a recurring theme in dozens of episodes, and while it does make the episode more exciting, it bothers people like me. (and by people, I mean me) If something happens over the course of a year in the past, the future changes instantly. Time literally happens in a second; for example, if I post this, all of you will prolly have chuckled by now and thought, "nerd" but if I don't, you'll never call me a nerd this one time, and your grandchildren won't go to Harvard. What we do affects the future in infinite ways, even not doing anything affects it.
Don't forget to comment if you want to get your grandchildren into Harvard.
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